You’ve been a parent now for about six or seven years, but you still don’t feel as if you’ve reached the same level your parents have, and with good reason. Good parenting skills take time to develop and don’t just come to you automatically the day your first child is born. Just like you’re not presented with a manual telling you what it is exactly that you should do to bring up your child.
And even if parenting came with a manual to do this, this and this in exactly this way, to achieve such and such a result, you still wouldn’t be half as good as your parents, and you almost definitely wouldn’t have gotten any good parenting skills under your belt. What you’d be doing there is following someone else’s ideas of what a good parent should be and how you should raise your children.
I’m afraid that parenting just doesn’t work that way, and you’re going to need to put in a lot of effort to become a good parent and to get the necessary good parenting skills to your name, so that one day, your children will look up to and aspire to be like you.
Parenting, like many things in life, is on a learning curve. You learn as you go along and gather experiences to your name. Unlike anything else though, with parenting, you’re thrown into the deep end almost from the beginning and have to dig deep within you to find at least a modicum of good parenting skills.
With your first child, your experiences will be virtually nil so you will make mistakes, but that’s good as long as you learn from them and don’t repeat them. Your good parenting skills will grow right along with your first child, so try and take it all in stride.
With your second child, you will be more relaxed and not as tense since you’ll at least know some of what to expect this time around. You won’t even realize it at that point but your parenting skills will have grown in leaps and bounds by that time as your experiences have made you wiser and more mature.
If you decide to have more children, by the time they arrive on the scene you’ll be old hat at this whole parenting business and will take just about everything in your stride. The lessons you learned bringing up your first two children will have paved the way for you to be more relaxed and even blasé about your younger children. And this is how it should be.